Most Christians think I'm not really a Christian. I prefer it that way. I'm not fully a Christian anyway. The other half of me is an athiest. The only reason that I'm not fully athiest is that Christ won't let go of me. Its really kind of beautiful; poetic and ironic. Christ is real enough that he won't let go of me, but in the same way not real enough that all of me should believe in Him. In truth, I am many different selves; a poet and a sinic, an altruist and a realist.
There is a benefit to having once been depressed. I know well my dark side. It is a demon, and its name is flesh. I am willing to admit that I am a disturbed creation, and as such those unwilling to name of their darkness hate me. They hate in the name of love for that is there darkness. Jealosy over something I don't have. They envy what is free. They won't take it. Instead they take the fruit. It is on a low branch. Easy, name-it-and-claim-it truth. It makes them feel good, like an opiate. No need for God, for forgiveness. But, like an opiate, it is a trap. It snares them all, kills them slowly, painlessly.
There is one antidote. Name your darkness. Bring it into the light for Jesus to see. Let Him take it. This is what is free. It hurts at first, but then the burden becomes His-- His pain. It is His love. He and your demon die together. Only He will return.