Vagabond Saint

Website Has Been Blocked

2012-01-18T10:19:00.001-08:00

Depravity

2011-08-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

I think I am good. I do noble things. I even sometimes sacrifice a little for others. But I am too aware of my darker self. I have no illusions of holiness. The knot of flesh that seeks to rule my life, it whines and writhes in the agony of selfish pity; a self inflicted torment; a spiritual black hole. It is clear to me now that my sin is not merely an ethical schism. It is a prison for my mind.

I keep myself with personal and social checks that waver only in times of intense emotion. Most of the time I seem good, but painted across my chest is the scarlet letter of my inner most being. I am a devil. My inner child screams, "I am good!" But in this context, I know I deserve hell.

All of this is dark, but it is not depressing. Because of this, the salvation given to me is that much more amazing; that much more precious. It is a white hot crack in the encasement of my mind; a fissure in the chains that bind my will.

Sanctus, peccator... nosce te ipsum. Renascere!

Without God

2011-08-08T21:15:00.001-07:00

The truth that the atheist offers is a silly plaything; a meaningless amusement while one waits for nothingness. Without God, you are left with delusion or despair. Camus was absolutely right; without God, there is absolutely no difference between living and killing yourself. When the summit of life is pleasure; justice, peace, goodness, and freedom are just buzz words used to make life more bearable. Without purpose, without God, there is nothing.

Love to the Seeker

2011-07-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

You have to understand, to a seeker, religion is like walking into a crowded room with everybody shouting "come here or you will die!" at the top of their lungs. Merely to maintain sanity, they must dismiss all of these claims as lunacy. For otherwise, which shouting voice is telling the truth? To whom should they go to avoid death? I prefer to stand and smile and when approached say, "I have found bread; come and eat." For the seeker is hungry, and I indeed have found bread.

Three Earths

2011-05-05T06:15:00.000-07:00

Three Earths could fit in that storm system!

The Thirst-Quenching Fire

2011-02-23T18:42:00.001-08:00

Death to the machine;

The great mechanical dragon must die.

Much has been lost; much permanently;

Already.

Sacred things are gone.

The machine has a will to make us all alike.

We were born to be different, to be unique,

To be beautiful.

In your mind already,

There is a cynicism deep in your heart.

It devourers your joy, and through you others.

Kill it now.

Something was lost,

Already the frame of the world creaks,

In anticipation of something that is to come.

A thirst-quenching fire.

Deosynthesis

2011-01-24T09:00:00.000-08:00

A plant is only a good plant as long as it is exposed to the light of the sun. In darkness, it whithers. This is photosynthesis. No matter how much water and nutrition it gets, without this ability to change this life giving light into sugars, the plant eventually dies.

A church is only a part of the body as long as it is exposed to the love of the son. In darkness, it whithers. This is deosynthesis. NO matter how many people and how much money it gets, without this ability to receive the potent love of God, the church eventually dies.

Hang on a Second

2010-12-14T05:43:00.000-08:00

http://www.npr.org/2010/12/14/132031645/christian-s-death-verdict-spurs-holy-row-in-pakistan

I know. My first reaction was anger, too. But then I realized (or maybe God told me, I don't know) that they don't need our anger. They already have too much of their own. And, as followers of the way, our anger doesn't change anything; it is our love that really changes things. Religion doesn't change anything either. Pakistan is a clear example that religion makes a poor government. They don't need our religion, anyway. They don't need our doctrine, they need our savior. The Way is not a religion, it is a person. It is Jesus.

Don't get me wrong. Fighting is necessary. There are regimes of terror that need to be toppled, but they are regimes of terror against their own populations. They enslave them in doctrine and fear of hell.

Absence of Innocence

2010-12-11T11:50:00.001-08:00

Innocence isn't absence of sin; sin is absence of innocence. Adam and Eve gave up their innocence at the tree in Eden. Christ gave up His precious life to restore to us this same innocence; the innocence of children.

"When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.'"

Mark 10:14

Evolution is Fact

2010-11-23T05:46:00.000-08:00

Even secular evolution is neither random or unguided. That would be foolishness. Evolution is a process guided by a mechanism of selection acting against diversification. The question is not whether the process is random or not, but rather who is doing the selection. Naturalists say nature; theists say God. I personally fail to see the distinction; it would seem that from our perspective God's direction would appear as natural. Also, the controversy has nothing to do with this mechanism; it is pretty well empirically established. The question is whether you can establish a link from all current species to a previous common ancestor. This is where I differ from the naturalist as I believe you cannot. I believe God wrote all the kinds of creatures individually using the same design patterns and the same base sequence. God was a programmer. Seeing these patterns the naturalist claim phylogeny where, I believe, none exists. Common design means common origin, but not common original form.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Waking Up

2010-11-10T16:47:00.000-08:00

YOUR ARE NOT ALONE!

We are all trying to figure this mess out. Those of us that seem to have it all together often have the biggest messes. They've just figured out that it is so much easier to hide it than to face it. They just fool people, but they still feel it. They still know the pain and isolation that they offer others. We are all poor. Riches mean nothing. The man who dies with the most toys, dies with nothing. He dies with less; whatever he was given is taken away because he tried so hard to find something in the vacuum. We are all so wretched. There is nothing under the sun worth living for. No one has the answers, they all just shout into the vacuum; their voices coalescing into a cacophony of meaningless vibrations; chirping apes the lot.

But their is a light. Just one; it hides beneath the horizon because its intensity would melt your soul. But it is coming. It is the sovereign Lord Jesus Christ. The messiah of the Jews. He is coming not to judge us, but to free us. Don't be fooled, even His people don't really get it. They don't have the answers, they just have Jesus and a deepest knowledge that they have something of true value in Him. I have nothing to offer you, but that. That you are not alone, and that you, like I, desperately need a savior.

"We are all mere beggars telling other beggars where to find bread."

A Matter of Ice Cream

2010-09-28T16:47:00.000-07:00

Herein I refer information in this NPR Health Blog entry.

Has anyone ever consider that water is not organic yet we need it, and formaldehyde is organic and it can kill us? We use buzzwords all over the place that really mean nothing. Natural means 'comes from nature'. Everything comes from nature. Except for a few heavy elements, everything we manufacture is just a recombination of something natural. Also, every single product on store has chemicals in it. I think most of us mean non-toxic, non-poisonous, non-dangerous products; that is at least reasonable. There are many of those that are manufactured. There are also many "natural" compounds that don't ~~meat~~ meet this qualification. The most dangerous chemicals, in fact, come from nature. The CSPI is suing a company, that is actually trying to be natural, over semantics!

Voting the Third Option

2010-09-27T16:22:00.000-07:00

The reason that our governmental system is failing is that we do not vote with our own voices. We listen to agenda-driven pendants and spurious political ads before we listen to our own common sense. I mean we no longer vote for candidates. Rather, we vote so that candidates we don't like won't be elected. We vote against people completely ignoring the democratic third option. See this is exactly my point. I called it democratic, but I do not mean to say that I is in favor of the Democratic Party. I know that you assumed I did. This is how divisive we've become. The third option is the third (or forth, or fifth) option on the ballot. We don't see this as an option at all because we believe the Independent candidates could never be elected. This is a self-perpetuating fallacy. My belief is that a democracy works best if it is run by the people-- by there individual voices. Our divisiveness is drafted by our broken, idealistic two-party system. Not until our nation has more political parties will it function as it always should. How many parties? About a few hundred million of them.

If anything I am saying rings as truth, than please this November think about these criteria.

1) Ignore pendants and political advertisements. Mute them, change the channel, or, my favorite, watch and mock them. Come on, the really are quite ridiculous.

2) They cannot limit your vote. In fact, you are not even limited to what's on the ballot. It is your right to vote for whomever you want. The primaries are not apart of our electoral system and can (and in my opinion, should) be ignored.

3) Do not vote straight-ticket. I feel strongly that this option should be stricken from the ballot. It is a convenience but it skews our elections by not forcing people to elect for each available candidate. I personally believe they should remove the R's and D's from the ballot as well. We need to stop voting for parties, and start voting for people based on their own merits. An incomplete ballot is far better than a straight-ticket ballot.

4) At least hear-out the other side. Demonization of groups of people is the most rampant and fallacy in our country these days. Its been around forever. We can never have peace in our own boarders until we can put down our political aphorisms and listen to all accurate information we have available to us.

Now, it is important to note here that I'm not telling you not to vote for a Democrat or Republican. If those candidates honestly reflect your values most clearly than you should vote for them. I'm actually not truly an independent. I'm a non-partisan. I believe the parties are disastrous to our political system. They are divicisive, unnecessary and a sign of a people who don't really care about how there country is run.

Adopted

2010-07-05T17:21:00.000-07:00

I am a Christian because there is no one alive that can match the teaching of Christ. It is by far the most inclusive of ways; get up take your cross and follow Him. Whether you have it all figured out or just are sick of all the paths you followed to dead ends. Nothing can parallel the way of the living sacrifice.

I am a Christian, but do not be mistaken. I am only adopted. Jews are God's chosen people they are his first children. They were chosen to bring forth God's word and His salvation to all peoples.

Random Images

2010-06-10T06:59:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from "Mental Thistles"

2009-12-22T09:14:00.000-08:00

Why does not the fool prefer virtue to vice?

When one is so vile the other so nice.

The answer we find, by the very same rule.

The fool prefers vice, just because he's a fool.

Citation:

Frank, Bellew, (1881). A Bad boy's first reader. Retrieved 22 December 2009 from G.W. Carleton & Co.: http://www.uflib.ufl.edu/ufdc/?b=UF00048476&v=00001

Thoughts on Christianity

2009-12-16T02:08:00.000-08:00

Christianity is not about being perfect. Gosh, do we need more things in this world demanding we be perfect. I believe that Christianity is an acceptance that we are not perfect and cannot be perfect. It is about being humble enough to admit we need help, we need change, we need a savior. It is about having faith that God will perfect us when the time is right. Jesus doesn't need perfect people; he uses the miserable, the humble, and the meek.

People say they hate morality. Its not morality that they hate. It is those that claim to be completely moral and yet show plainly that they are not. It is hypocrisy and insincerity that they really hate. Morality doesn't make us into a judgmental bigets because that in itself is not moral. Morality makes people humble. It creates a being who is humble; who stands in awe at the majesty of nature; who desires above all else truth, even truth that makes him look bad; who is in love for human kind and doesn't just tolerate it. I believe that if you meet a truly moral person you will not come away feeling judged, you will come away feeling loved.

I speak as if I am concerned about some bad wrap that Christians may have. This isn't my concern at all. Jesus does not need PR. If he can cut through my silly stereotypes, he can just as easily reach people who honestly seek truth, even those who hate him. There are of course those who have stopped seeking truth. That is in my opinion the most dangerous stand. The atheist is closer to God than the relativist, because at least he believes in truth.

Irony

2009-11-19T15:11:00.000-08:00

Irony, my love scorned muse,

Bitter is your Faustian favor.

Though your presence brings disaster.

You give life its devilish flavor.

The Middle Ground Laws

2009-08-27T11:13:00.000-07:00

The loudest members of a group do not necessarily represent its constituents. Loudness itself indicates extremity.
Unity and diversity can coexist in the absense of categories. A middle ground state is marked by such a coexistence.
A middle ground state is achieved when a population embraces its diversity and forgoes categorization.
A member of a group who does not in some way disagree with the consensus of that group cannot add to its diversity.
Categories poorly describe the human race because they greatly diminish diversity and often lead to stereotyping.

Not an Athiest

2009-08-16T21:07:00.000-07:00

"I’m not an atheist and I don’t think I can call myself a pantheist. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many different languages. The child knows someone must have written those books. It does not know how. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn’t know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God. We see the universe marvelously arranged and obeying certain laws but only dimly understanding these laws. Our limited minds grasp the mysterious force that moves the constellations."

-- Albert Einstein

Verbal Pet Peeves

2009-08-13T12:44:00.000-07:00

Irregardless

Primarily, this is not a word! Some dictionaries have added it, but with extreme caveats. Secondarily, it does not mean what people intend it to. Regardless means without regard or careless. It is most often used to indicate the aforementioned condition is irrelevant and need not be considered. Irregardless would therefore indicate the opposite or negation of regardless, but people use it to mean the same thing.

Ideal (instead of Idea)

I've not heard this often, but I do. When I hear something like "I have an ideal" from a coworker, I often say "its good to have high standards. Now get back to work." I always get blank stares.

Where is it at?

Not only is this a hanging preposition, it is a redundant hanging preposition. Why can't you just say "where is it" instead of instead of mutilating the English language with your waste of words?

Sane Christianity

2009-07-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

It is time for a revolution. Not

Politics

2009-06-02T10:11:00.001-07:00

Individuals are smart, brilliant even, but collectively we are pretty stupid.

Advantage of Theism in Maintaining a Civil System

2009-05-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

If a system cannot legislate morality, that system is doomed to anarchy. Without right and wrong, there is no need for justice.

Morality distinguishes right from wrong in a specific context.

Morality requires a context. It itself is not one. As such, a system must define a context or succumb to systemic decay and end in anarchy.

Modernism attempts to define its context a posteriori, but morality requires a margin of a priori context. Without external intervention such as a command architecture (as in communism) or propaganda, such a system will decay toward anarchy.

Relativism attempts to employ all contexts. A system can employ manifold contexts, but conflicts must be resolved by a more general context. Relativism presumes that no general context exists to resolve conflicts. Therefore, without external intervention, such a system will decay toward anarchy.

Theism suggests a single ultimate context for morality. Such a context allows a system to avoid decay.

A Spurious Corelation

2009-05-13T14:39:00.000-07:00

There is a disturbing correlation in America today between wealth and skin color. The correlation is true by the numbers, but I believe it is completely phenomenological. I believe that we should not think of giving aid to minorities any more. The word minority is pejorative and I believe exceedingly racist (see more here). Instead, we should provide aid to poor people regardless of their skin color.

I wish I could get people to see that the left is NOT really for minorities, and the right is NOT really for the Christians. The right and the left are for one thing and one thing only: your vote. They could care less about you the voter. You are just a number to them reguardless of what they say.

It is not a conspiracy, it is a mathematical reality. It works like this. In a system where people do not vote smart (see more here), the only candidates who get elected are those who model themselves after the collective. The inflamitory properties of the candidates are exagerated and the gap grows greater between the arbitrary sides. This is why we have two major political parties. The two party system is maintained by this polerization which is fueled by the "stupid voting" that has been going on for far too long. In reality there shouldn't be two political parties there should be a hundreds of millions of them.

Don't you see American. When it comes to your vote, You are not black, or Asian, or Hispanic. You are not a Depublican or Remocrat. You are an American! Act like one. Put away all of this hand wringing and childish devicivness. It is time for us to be one people. Only then can we seek to be one world.

Please, end the tyranical reign of political parties. Vote smart in 2010.

I am not a Republican. I am not a Democrat. I am an American.

Apherism # 653

2009-01-31T08:30:00.001-08:00

He who does not try cannot succeed. He who does not fail will not learn.

Prize of Old

2008-12-24T21:14:00.000-08:00

The echoing canyons of time,
Neither being still nor moved,
Recall to mind a past as sure,
The Lord God yet has proved.

The light opens on vast expanse,
The story yet to be told,
Of love so great and powerful,
Repaid with incense and gold.

The land of Bethlehem did wait,
In shallow night they sleep,
When host of angles broke the sky,
O'er frightened man and sheep.

Three wise men road from far away,
And brought their gifts so rare,
But rarer still and wondrous is,
The cross Lord Jesus bared.

The prize of old, salvation's tale.
Was told by our saving king.
The gates of heavens splendor and,
The songs that saved ones sing.

Of New Meditation

2008-12-24T12:45:00.000-08:00

I have discovered a marvelous new form of meditation that calms even the mighty tempest of my sleepless mind. That of reading; and not reading alone but reading the great works of the near antiquity: Descartes, Poincare, and Leibniz. Even the great canon of Doyle raises my mediation to new heights will giving me a clarity of thought and the peace of relaxation and even-mindedness.
I sit and sip black gold and imbibe the very requiem of antiquity whereby the most puerile of prose rivals the most elegant contemporary poetry, and the most common-place of pre-modern thought portrayed far more of the beauty of creation than that of the most ascended post-modern thinker. Perhaps truth itself capitalized is lost to the annals of time, but thankfully the works of the great thinkers of old still frame the bastion of modern thought. The prodigal still has leave to return.

Truth

2008-11-06T17:05:00.001-08:00

It is not about being right, it is about Truth. Truth does not judge; Truth redeems. Truth does not tolerate; Truth loves. Truth does not evangelize; Truth transforms.

Charlie Jones as G. K. Chesterton

2008-11-04T08:09:00.000-08:00

Apherism # 652

2008-10-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

I do not have to agree with you to be on your side.

Apherism # 651

2008-10-13T10:44:00.001-07:00

Without money, no one would be poor.

Apherism # 650

2008-10-13T10:43:00.000-07:00

Just as much prejudice can exists in acclaim as in insult.

Fear Not

2008-09-29T11:25:00.000-07:00

Brothers, we have nothing to fear. Take me at more than the cliche taste that you have in your mouth right now. We have nothing to fear. The economy be damned! We are sons the most high . The world may go to hell all around us but we won't. We are destined for prosperity beyond that which the legislature can ordain. The appropriate response in times like these is not fear. It is praise and it is faith. We will not be lost. The sun will not go down. The sun will rise. The son has risen. And he will return!

The world can take away our houses, our futures, and even our lives, but they cannot take away our God

Victory

2008-08-25T10:53:00.000-07:00

My brothers, we are not the winning team in some game,
We are the victorious nation of a war.
The war is over.
Our side won just under 2000 years ago.
Our task now is to work to free the hostages.
They are used by the enemy,
But they are not the enemy.
The enemy is defeated, now!
He is readying to kill all of his POW's and,
Destroy his own country;
One last attack-- an implosion of selfish despair.
He is lost, but his followers are not.
Lord help us free them.
Help them see their psuedofreedom,
Show them that it is not real.
They are puppets,
Cut their strings.

Tainted

2008-08-11T20:45:00.000-07:00

Tainted,
I am damaged goods.
No one will have me.
They say, "keep away he has the sickness",
"He is human".
She finds love, she finds happiness,
But she is of a people,
Who don't see sin as damage.
Alas, I cannot lie,
Sin is damage,
I am damaged.
Will I never find just one,
Who will forgive my blemished past?
I am forgiven, I am healed,
But it would seem that I am still,
Unwanted,
Unclean,
Tainted.

For though God forgive sin's I stand condemned. Sin has stolen my future.

Broken Here I Stand

2008-08-04T11:48:00.000-07:00

Broken here I stand,
Emptied of myself
I have nothing,
Nothing can I be,
That will make you love me,
That will make you cry.
Tears of joy will never fill your eyes,
That will have ever come from me.

I have wronged you,
I have destroyed everything,
Sometimes there is no turning back,
Sometimes forgiveness is not enough.

Broken here I stand,
I stand no reason at all.
I will but fall to my knees,
And be made new.
I will heal but now,
I weep hollow tears of regret and despair.
For without you there is only that.
All I have left is emotion,
And that is but a thorn in my side.

Sometimes forgiveness is not enough.
But sometimes it is.

Apherism # 649

2008-07-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

Normalcy is an illusion, a cocoon of comfort used by those who can conceal their dysfunction.

Apherism # 648

2008-07-18T14:06:00.001-07:00

Be not labeled by the flesh. Nor be restricted by it. It is forever dying, you shall forever live.

Apherism # 647

2008-07-18T14:03:00.000-07:00

Apart from God, there is only illusion or despair.

Ex Nihilo Nihil Fit

2008-06-20T11:32:00.001-07:00

The Ever Broken Heart

2008-06-12T13:49:00.000-07:00

The milk spoils;
Existence grows and gains entropy.
The nature of the universe is to decay,
Just as the nature of the soul is to despair.
A broken heart cannot decay,
A sheltered man cannot delight.
Security only brings destruction.
Lord may my heart ever be broken,
If it cannot be whole.
May I have courage,
May I always delight.

Idiot Sues What?

2008-06-10T07:48:00.000-07:00

CD's I have legitimately purchased because of listening to music on podcasts:

Coldplay: X&Y
Muse: Black Holes & Revelations
Muse: Origin of Symmetry
Radiohead: Kid A
Radiohead: Ok Computer
Radiohead: In Rainbows
U2: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Soul Coughing: Irresistible Bliss
Eric Angus Whyte: Always Home
Crystal Method: Vegas
Crystal Method: Legend of Boom
Crystal Method: Community Service II
Jonathan Coulton: Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow **
Gasoline Heart: What Now **
Gasoline Heart: You Know Who You Are **
Wolfmother: Wolfmother
30 Seconds to Mars *

So go right ahead RIAA. Go ahead and shoot yourself in the foot. I don't care.

Idiots!

* OK, so I haven't bought them yet, but I will. Know it!
** Ha ha, that ones not yours! :p

I'm Back

2008-05-31T13:24:00.000-07:00

I've been slumming in the valley of the shadow of death. Its cold there and very lonely. But the Lion of Judah, he's brought me back to the green pastures of His father's kingdom. After a great deal of tears and realizing, I've been reborn. For I doubt anyone's experience of God if it doesn't lead him to struck down on His knees realizing he is at the same time nothing and everything. I am new! I am Free!

Taste and see,
Reborn be.

Penetrated

2008-04-24T11:15:00.001-07:00

Imagine God in heaven,
In whatever form you give him;
He turns and looks in your direction,
And you only stand there,
Penetrated.

Singular Self

2008-04-17T08:41:00.000-07:00

At the heart of the mind there is a singularity. I call it the self, but perhaps even selfness is an abstraction from it. If you strip away all of the layers of what we call the self: all memory, all reason, all emotion, you are left with this singularity. It is a singularity that is indivisible yet unidentifiable and indistinguishable from any other such entity. When you strip the flesh of self away, you are left with an indistinct eye that can never be destroyed; always experiencing but never being.

God: Bigger than Creationism

2008-03-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

True creationism is not about being right or outwitting science. True creationism is a science which seeks truth and accepts counter proofs if they are valid. True creationism is not naive or stuck in a box of overly exegetic nonsense. The true creationist is a reductionalist in his science but not necessarily in his belief. He uses Occam's razor to shave in the morning, but greets the twilight with acceptance of his humble position and acceptance of his non-omniscience. The true creationist understands that his question is by far not the most important.

"To prove that God does not exist is to prove one thing only; but it proves it not of God but of the proof-giver. It proves that he seeks not truth but a sword." - Anonymous

See also

Religion of Cowards

2008-03-17T20:15:00.000-07:00

Honor does not kill.
Such is the act of a coward.
Martyrdom does not kill.
Such is the act of a murderer!
Truth does not kill.
Such is the act of a SAVAGE!!

Consider This: Why I Like Astronomy

2008-03-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

We are small!

WWJB

2008-03-03T20:05:00.001-08:00

As of late WWJD has seen its demise. And lets face it folks it was really just a scam so that Christian murchendisers could make money. Lets consider the question that it suggests; "What would Jesus do?" According to my experience with this achronym Jesus would slap on a stupid fabric bracelet, dress like a prep, wear a cross made out of nails around his neck, grow a soul patch, and walk around in sandles when its snowing out side. What's worse, he would be an innitiate in a small minded, elitest, and occasionally biggoted social club. A group that thinks there contemporary symbolism actually means something. What would Jesus do? This is a question that a Christian should ask of himself--not one to be advertised to any lost soul that might be paying attention. Jesus does not need PR. He can and does "sell" himself. His sales pitch is truth, love and acceptance. Not some stupid colored fabric status symbol.

I think a better question to ask ourselves is "Where would Jesus be?" He would be sitting at the lunch table that the WWJD table ignored. He would be sitting on the steps next to the pregnant teenagers and wiccan outcasts. He would be croutching in the bathroom floor next to the suicidal science geek who was rejected for the fifteenth time because he doesn't know how to be "cool." Jesus asks His people to take up their cross and follow Him; instead, we wear stupid bracelets with meaningless letters.

Prayer

2008-02-22T16:27:00.001-08:00

Lord, Lift me up.
So that I can do something awesome.
So that I can change the world.
And then blame it on you.

Delirium Dissect

2008-02-19T11:00:00.000-08:00

The sickness invades the cerebellum with a furious rampancy as if the machine that is me were awakening unto itself. The unity of mind and body is severed causing displacement of the self by one negative on the z axis. The unit is close to a centimeter but it might as well be a light-year; it is a phasic displacement over a near infinate wavelengths. There are three of me; past, present and future; all of them jockeying for favor with my center. The mind is alive but temporarily divorced from the body allowing flesh to decide for itself in random dyslexic patterns that represent nothing. My awareness is subjective a white noise in the background radiation of the self. Am I nothing more than a cleverly shaped mobius strip made of meat and membrane? Am I substance beyond material, or three-axis film reel left to run in repeat throughout all of time?

Trance

2008-02-13T21:10:00.000-08:00

Behold, a frenetic nirvana. I am one with the tao, but there is no tao. So I am one with—you? Hello mania my old friend--symbol of a thousand moods all vying for dominance. Dominance over what? For without my mood I am nothing. I am dust and to dust I will—transcend. The universe is screaming my name. It is singing my song, but it doesn't know the words. It fills in the blanks with broken chords and dissident growls that echo off reflection nebulae and super massive black hole jets in the vacuumous abyss. Infinite night! So big! Photonic waveforms of a billion billion suns each melting into the chaos of another dreamless night. Mindless. Formless. Meaningless. A tantric nightmare of ambiguous colliding realities.

Pictures from My World

2008-02-06T15:10:00.000-08:00

Ichthus

I found this on the sidewalk in downtown Newburgh, Indiana. The shadow is me.

Digory
A rather blurry image of my cat Digory with his beloved feather on a stick.

Illuminati
The way home from work is sometimes boring--sometimes.

TULIP of a Different Color

2008-01-16T10:00:00.000-08:00

TULIP is the famous Calvinist achronym. Well, I'm an Atemporal Synergistic Calvinist (ASC) and TULIP has too many letters. For us ACS's its more like TP, and that's just dirty. I've held a synod and came up with three points that describe what I believe:

Unlimited Adoption: All can be children of God.

Unlimited Potential Sanctification: All are potentially justified, there are NO lost causes.

Invisible Security: A man's salvation is known only by God and himself.

OK, so UUI is not a good achronym, but its better than TP. These points speak to human perspective. These are what we need to be concerned with and act on. TULIP may be true or it may not, but these are the implications that we must follow in reaching others Christian or not.

White Boy Revolution

2008-01-09T10:24:00.001-08:00

Simply stated, anyone who judges the character or quality of another by the color of their skin is a racist. Am I right?

Yeah.

That said, I think there's a hell of a lot of political games being played, and the favorite game ball is that word 'minority'. Ok, so am I a minority?

No.

So quick to answer. I'm Scotch Irish American, though.

You're an immigrant?

No. I'm at least a third generation American.

Than no.

Why? There are only 1.8% of us in the US. That's a pretty small number. Why is it that I'm not a minority. I'll tell you why, because I'm cursed to have a pale complextion. I wonder, if I got a tan, then would I be a minority? The only reason I am not in a minority is that I have white skin. I repeat, anyone who judges the character or quality of another by the color of their skin is a racist.

...

Hey you agreed with me before.

Let me be clear. I believe that we should help the poor whether white, black, or green. I believe that we should ballence that tax structure so that we are not over burdening the lower class. I just want to stop drawing the lines along race. That's one of the most racest things that you can do. Liberal politicians want "minority" voters to believe that anything that is in their favor is equitable even if it boxes them catigorically that is unfair and untrue. It was the left that gave birth to the KKK (a.k.a. dorks in white satin) and it was they who apposed civil rights legistlation and fought Martin Luthar King Jr.

Martin Luthar King Jr. was a great American hero. My fellow americans, I have a dream too. I dream that we will no longer be african americans or mexican americans or white americans or asian americans. I dream that there are no longer any more minorities because we are united; we are all Americans!

Amen, brother!

I am not a Republican or a Democrat. I am an American. Look out folks, the next generation is coming up fast and they are not going to play your silly little political games.

Free Your Mind

2007-12-24T22:36:00.000-08:00

Every person chooses two primary paths creator or consumer: either to add to the fabric of creation or to consume creation for temporary peasure. We are created to be creators. Our imaginations make us human. This is why pride is such a tremendous sin. It is a creation of the self adding nothing to the universe. Pride is also so very close to enlightenment. I find that when I am closest to a truth I share it with a mind to boost my own ego. There is certainly a daner here, but this need not mean truth when found should not be shared.

As humans we create other universes when we tell good stories. We add to the metanaritive. Our creations in this world do not remain. Even the great ones will eventually fade. I know now that it is our creations in the next world that will remain. This fallen existence is practice. Here we are alowed to create to are hearts desire and not worry about the perminency of our creations, but a fallen creator will create his own hell. Even so, our God has given us creativity and imagination for a reason. You do not have to be a God to create. Jesus did not come to save us and make us all the same. Like him yes, but there is enough room in his likeness to stretch out and make yourself at home.

Modern media has lost something. We try so hard to make our stories believible that they loose their creativity. We try so hard to make our stories unique, to make a name for ourselves that we never fill in the gaps and our universes fall as iconic avatars to nothing. The metanarative is not merely a doctrine. It's core is concrete, never changing that is true, but the surface of the metanarative is ever changing. Whenever we dream up a new possible world, or even an impossible one we add to the substance of he creation. The metanarative is a anchor, a firm foundation on which to build our proverbial houses.

I incourage you the reader to write your own world. Make your appendix to the novel of reality and tell it from within your being. You have been made with a unique story to tell. Even if you never enter the world of esteamed writers or litteraty geniouses, you will discover your place in this world and the next.

Know

2007-12-05T09:29:00.000-08:00

The soul screams and the mind imbibes reality,
and then vomits epistimological nonsence.
Knowing truth is like a falling man knowing the ground.
And like Max Cohen the knowledge is making me loose my mind.
I trephine my self awareness and become part of nothing!
Knowlege is an echelon greater than ignorance,
But knowlege can only imprison one further.
It is all just another degree of control.
The demon lifts his glass,
A toast to his ignorance.
Eat, drink, and be artificial.

The machine must die!
We created it, it is ours to destroy.
The machine must die!
The machine is us!
The collective monster, all of us,
The murders and the whores.

"But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?"

The Selfish Martyrs

2007-11-28T20:23:00.000-08:00

Islam is an irrelevant and deviant religion serving a selfish brat of a god that "created" his rag-doll followers to live twisted mindless lives. It is a religion devoid of kindness, mercy, or forgiveness that criminalizes liberty, self-identity, and thoughtfulness and promotes retaliation, murder, and savagery. I realize that there are a great many followers of this religion who will want to kill me when they read this. Well, come and get me. I will die for my God too, but I won't murder people doing it. It only proves my point that they are savages who kill those who disagree with their stupid philosophies. That is savagery. There is a huge difference here between Christianity and Islam. Muslim martyrs are murderers who dye trying to kill as many infidels as they can. They are selfish and their deaths are meaningless. Christian martyrs are heroes who died in the face of oppression because they would not turn from God. In the end of days, where Islam would slaughter the"heathens", we will still welcome them with open arms.

Disclaimer: I want to make it clear that I am talking here about the religion followed by suicide bombers, Osama Bin Laden, and the people involved in the attacks on America, Brittan and elsewhere. I am not speaking of the people of Islam proper. Those that value life and freedom. I DO NOT seek to cause any further discrimination or hatred toward them or anyone. Such malice is just as wrong as terrorism. This post is written in passionate anger not hatred. I know that their were many travesties done in the name of Christ as well. I group them with the Muslims described above. By Christian I refer to the direct teachings of Jesus Christ and his apostles as told in the biblical account.

God Does not Exist

2007-11-25T21:28:00.000-08:00

Along my journey's through philosophy an logic, I've come to a remarkable conclusion. Saying that God exists is erroneous. To say a thing exists makes it subject to existence. God is not subject to anthing, not even existence. God did not say "I Exist", he said "I Am". Perhaps only God can speak of His own ontology. God is. But the verb "is" here cannot be applied to any other thing with the same meaning. It is ultimately a forth meaning of the verb, one that can only be applied by God to God in the form "I Am." The Hebrew form of "I Am" in this special case is 'ani. As apposed to the less formal 'ehyeh, it means "I was then, I am now, and I will be [forever]." Self-existent throughout all of time. God never came to be (the connotation of existence), He is.

'ani 'asher 'ani

Stone Paradox

2007-11-05T08:24:00.000-08:00

I love it when people ask me whether God could create a stone he could not lift. I answer them plainly, "Yes he can. In fact, he already has, and he called him man." In us, God has created something he cannot destroy. He wrote our names in indellible ink that not even he can wipe away. (I know that most people ask that because they attempt to apply mathematical reason to the nature of God's omnipotents. That is complete blasphemy unless ended by a legitimate question mark because God is not a logical process. He is the creator of logic and reason itself.) God did not make a mistake creating such an imperfect creature. He wrote the metanarritive from beginning to end. He knew that man would fall and reject him for plastic glory. His heart was broken at the fall, but he wrote man with the potential to fall anyway. You can only truely be loved if the lover has the capacity to hate you as well. The love of God for man is reflected in the love of a parent for his or her child, but even this is a quiet echo of the glorious love the creator has for his creation. Only in knowing this love does one learn to repspect a God who created a thing that has the power to break his heart, and yet choose to die for the salvation of that very thing. Man is God's ambition, His dream.

RIAA: Sticking it to Everybody

2007-11-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

"So, let's see if we get this straight. The RIAA alienates its fans and customers by overcharging, failing to embrace new technology and suing anyone who tries to give music fans what they want. At the same time, the publishers work hand in hand with innovators (such as ringtone publishers) and find great success. Now, as a thank you for all the hard work and deft thinking, the RIAA asks the feds to lower the amount of money they pay artists under statutory deals?" Read more...

- So, RIAA, what exactly is it that you do?

- "I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?"

A Collective Truth

2007-10-27T14:10:00.001-07:00

Vote Smart

2007-10-16T09:47:00.001-07:00

News flash people. Republican and democratic politicians are exactly the same. They are all meaningless figureheads that poorly represent the people. I urge all Americans to vote against the party system this November. Elect a person not a party! Here are some suggestions:

Don't vote straight-ticket.

Ignore the primaries. They cannot force you not to vote for someone who didn't win their stupid popularity contest.

Pay attention to facts not posturing.

Political ads lie, and campaign financing is irrelevant. Money doesn't change the truth.

A smart vote is based upon what you think not what they tell you to think.

Please, for the sake of our country, vote smart or don't vote.

Anathema

2007-10-01T10:20:00.000-07:00

The nature of man is to sin. Sin is bad; it is deadly. Eventually, sin will lead to your death; eternal destruction. Any view that hell is unfair is a view that doesn't understand the badness of sin. From our perspective, the badness of sin is relative to its impact, its consequences, and in some circles its political incorrectness. God's perspective is a little different. God is not moved by politics at all. In His view, a lie is just as much a hate crime as a lynching. ALL SINS are seeds of destruction. ALL SIN leads to eternal damnation. All who have sinned are condemned, and all have sinned.

God seeks not to save the sinner, but to recreate him. Be neither be worried nor weary for all that is asked of you is to follow Christ. Not a church, not a religion, follow Christ. In Him alone place your trust. In Him alone you will be perfected. By Him alone you will be saved.

Fragment

2007-09-24T19:58:00.000-07:00

Universe, illuminated by billions of
suns dying, like mind spread over too
much world, conscious virus impaling
its will on an ach-ing mindless rock
running an endless marathon around a
dy-ing star in an unnamed apart-ment
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nning an endless marathon around a dy
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mplex in the ghetto of the universe,

The Anthem

2007-09-19T13:18:00.001-07:00

All of the striving, all the suffering, all of the energy spent like currency to buy your very own self will eventually become nothing, a waste. It is the nature of all things to be temporary. Life itself is transient as we know it. On this planet, all the treasures herein will build up to exactly nothing, and it is awesome.

The only thing that actually lasts beyond one's sacred life is when one bestows his energies, striving, and sufferings to the benefit of another. This is love, to offer one's very life energy to the supreme benefit of another. Love is not an emotion that is experienced and then passes. Love is a thing that endures because it itself is endurance. This is the greatest of all accomplishments, to love another to the extent of forsaking one's self.

This love causes the blood in my veins to ignite and burn like gasoline. I seek to marry someone whose blood is as flamable as mine. That kind of passion is an anthem to the lost, the hurt, and the lonely; the very passion that would drive a man to give up a universe and die on a tree for his beloved.

2007-09-16T18:56:00.000-07:00

No matter the quality of a dream, to repeat it is to destroy it. To own an experience no matter how vast is to make it nothing. The mind of man unwillingly consumes everything it has the capacity to revisit, making it white-space, to the extent of becoming numb to the very properties by which he was first drawn to return; making him wonder why he returned and leaving him wanting more. The safest place for a man's past experiences are in his memories. For there he will make them always new. There they will always be enough. Long not for your life past, for it is now a part of you.

See, I have destroyed even this by writing it down.

Insanity ··· Chapter 1: The Spire

2007-09-14T12:12:00.000-07:00

A man awoke enshrouded in complete peace. His head lay on his arm, his arm on a cold stone surface. He lifted his head and opened his eyes. Although he saw colors and distinct lines he could not make out dimension or perspective at first. Eventually, the scene came to him. It hit his consciousness like a bullet and filled him with a certain uneasiness. He got to his feet and realized they were bare. He was in an immense hallway cut into some marble like material that was so homogeneous in color it had appeared to his eyes as a distant gray sky rather than surface only six or seven paces away. Now he could clearly see the two giant walls on either side of him, forming the hallway, extending out toward a sky blue line that itself extended all the way above him to the opposite extreme of his view. The line formed an ecliptic above his head and was narrowest at its zenith. He realized at once that the hallway was actually a groove of immense proportions and that the blue line must be the space beyond the walls of the groove.

He walked over to one wall. It was farther away than he had first judged. He touched it. It had the same feel as the floor, obviously made of the same material. He detected a very slight vibration. It was intermittent almost like a heart beat but much more uniform. He looked back to the other wall. It seemed close enough to touch, but it was obviously not. He counted the paces to the other wall. There were 25 of them. There was no noise, but there was a steady breeze blowing down the hallway. The air was cold but not uncomfortable.

What should the man do?
·Walk the hallway against the wind.
·Walk the hallway with the wind.

Consider This: Infinate Time

2007-09-13T09:35:00.000-07:00

Take a minute. No, I literally mean take a minute. As we understand time, it is a unit for a duration of time. The minute is divided up into seconds. There are sixty of them each describing a duration of time. There are a thousand milliseconds in each of those seconds. There are a million microseconds and a billion nanoseconds and so on. You understand.

Now consider that our minute can be stretched out to longer and longer durations. Its smaller components are stretched proportionally. First stretch it by a factor of two. Now our minute has double the duration. Its components and their components have double their original duration as well.

Now what if we stretch out the minute to cover an infinite duration? I realize the paradoxical implication with factoring by infinity, so please suspend your intellectual scepticism for a moment. If that minute were infinite in duration, the seconds would also be infinite. And so would the microseconds, nanoseconds, picoseconds, etcetera. The very quanta of time, the smallest devisions time can be quantised into, would be infinately long.

Herein lies the paradox. Nothing can traverse an infinate distance or duration. Therefore, by stretching our minute to an infinate duration, we've effectively done away with time altogether. For an infinate amount of time is not time at all. Not zero time, it is no longer time at all. This is not to say that there couldn't simbly be an infinate number of minutes.

Blah!

2007-09-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired. I'm done. Our's is not a religion, it is a mind game! I recently started reading "The Ragamuffin Gospel" and I got all caught up in it, but I'm now starting to see its universalist bent. I'm sick of catching whiffs of great ideas and finding out that they are boxes of sh**! If God would just tell me what I need to do, or not do, I would do it. I just can't play these stupid f***ing mind games anymore! I can't live my life dangling precariously over the lake of fire. I won't! If some people are going to hell, than why not me? I am a sinner? What is it about me that makes me different from those who are condemned? There is no answer to that question that seems fair. I've searched and knocked for 27 damn years, and that stupid door hasn't openned. I couldn't tell you for sure where I'm going, because its so f***ing vague! Either I know how to be saved (either through Christ or through works) or I don't want any of it! But if you're going to tell me its Christ, then shut up about works. Because, either Christs death paid for it all or it was meaningless because I'm right back in the same blasted place. I know all the pat answers. I know all the Christian cliches. I'm going to read this flaky book and search for bread there, because I have found it among you legalistic freaks! If I'm condemned to hell for loving the least, and showing merci to the wrong, and rejecting the common theology that says only the thologically gifted are heaven bound, and accepting what was offered as a free gift with no strings attached, then so f***ing be it! Its not universalist to want something deeper than you're stupid words.

The Art of Writing

2007-09-04T17:43:00.000-07:00

I find that writing is a journey. Not a quest like journey though. There are no dragons to slay, or damsels to save, or kingdoms to conquer. Its just a journey to find crap to write about. Writing is a journey to the far fronteers of reailty. You have to go to the fronteers because inside the city limits there aren't any unique thoughts. But be careful, because if you go too far out become what is commonly called a nut job. So you go there to the fronteer place and find words. And then you have to put these words in the right order so that they make sense. See, like I'm doing here. But they can't just make sense, they have to be meaninful to people other than you. As interesting as writing about what your poo looked like this morning is to you, other people might not be as interested. About that, you might want to read above where I talk about nut jobs. Anyway, once you have a meaninful story involving characters and plot twists that is completely free of poo, you can try an publish it. But watch yourself. Most publishers out there are evil. They will only print something that they can sell. And by sell, I mean subjugate and change to until when you read it you honestly think, man this is really cleaver, I wish I had thought of this.

Functional Euphoria

2007-08-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder,
What would be the mood of Heaven?
I think it is a euphoria yeah,
But it would be a euphoria,
Where you can look evil in the face,
And smile.

A fantasy revealed,
Where everything fits together,
Not a formula but a dance,
Choreographed harmony.
Beautifully simple,
Made to last.

Sometimes I wonder,
What should be the mood of Earth?
I think it is a euphoria too,
But it would be a euphoria,
Where you can look evil in the face,
And change the world.

My Song Is Love Unknown

2007-08-21T10:53:00.000-07:00

My song is love unknown,
my Savior's love to me,
love to the loveless shown,
that they might lovely be.
O who am I, that for my sake
my God should take frail flesh and die?
My God should take frail flesh and die?

God left the richest throne
salvation to bestow;
but Christ as flesh and bone
the world refused to know.
But, O my Friend, my Friend indeed,
who at my need did life expend;
who at my need did life expend.

Sometimes they threw down palms
and sweetest praises sang.
Hosannas and glad psalms
through streets and markets rang.
Then "Crucify!" is all their breath,
for blood and death they thirst and cry;
for blood and death they thirst and cry.

What has my Sovereign done?
What makes this rage and spite?
Christ gave new strength to run,
restored the gift of sight.
Sweet injuries! Yet they at these
themselves displease, and 'gainst Christ rise;
themselves displease, and 'gainst Christ rise.

I sing my plain belief,
one song my heart outpours:
never was pain nor grief,
never was love like yours.
This is my Friend, in whose sweet praise
I all my days could gladly spend;
I all my days could gladly spend.

Words By: Samuel Crossman

Abstracted

2007-08-07T11:54:00.000-07:00

There is a dualistic quality to nature, but it only exists by the perspective of being within nature. Think of day and night. There would seem to be an equal duality between the heat and light of day and the dark, cool night. But if you abstract from the planet into the realm of space, you will see that light from the sun, the source of day, is everywhere. Night, on the otherhand is huddling in fear on the back of the planet itself; a mere shadow.

Therefore, though it seems there is a duality of light and dark all around us, darkness is merely an abstraction of light-- a lack of it. Darkness is merely the negative space and light is the substance the reality. The brightest lights

2007-07-30T18:53:00.000-07:00

The universe is a mirror in which you see the you God intended you to be. What a wonderful site it would be to see as the fog lifts the love of your life staring back at you; not your reflection but the archtype of the G od intended you

This New Darkness

2007-07-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

Like a tuning orchestra the meriad of lights point in nearly random, mostly meaningless directions only ocasionally pointing in the direction of the darkness. Sparks fly from occasional convergence of light from one sect of reality or another, but for the most part nothing more than an ambient glow is produced.

The dying sun's light whithers and soon like a snuffed flame is extinguished. The chorus of individual lights not resolute to point to any specific thing is not intense enough to replace the fading light. Then, one by one the individual lights at the fringes of existence go out. Unity emerges as darkness.

This new darkness, deliberate and intense, is purposeful--a willful rebellion against chaotic sameness of the preceding illumination. The darkness, homogeneous, spreads over the face of existence.

All is dark, silent.

And then, all at once there is light. The light of the Other fills the universe with His vast light, and rekindles the dying fire. The orchestra fully tuned is ready. He conducts.

Message to Teenage Girls

2007-07-10T18:46:00.000-07:00

I have an important message to all the teenage girls out there. Save yourself for marriage, please. This is from the bottom of my heart. Guys grow up eventually, but I know personally that they don't grow up quite as fast as you do. Please, I beg you to wait. Respect your body and yourself. Wait for the guy that has the capacity to love the real you. You are so prescious to God and to your future husband. He is lucky to eventually marry you. Love him by waiting for him. I know its hard. I'm a guy, its way harder for me, believe it.

Listen to me, you are worth it. I don't care what you look like or whether you've already failed in this area. You are so loved. And when your future husband grows up and you meet and marry him, I pray that you have the most awesome love relationship that you can. But in the meantime there is a man you can have an even better love relationship with. His name is Jesus Christ. He loves you so much and he's just a prayer away. Please, don't waste another second on lonelyness. Just try Him. Ask him to come into your life, that's all. The church stuff, the bible stuff, the "religious" stuff. That comes later. Right now you and he just need to talk things out. Rest in his arms for a while. He is real, I promise. No guy on the planet can give you as much love as he can.

I am a 27-year-old man which is an odd type of person to be bringing this sort of message, but I feel that I particularly need to say it. I don't know why God would have me write this straight out of the blue like this, but presently my heart is burning to let you know how I feel. If I couldn't get you to realize anything else, I hope I can get you to realize this. You deserve a man who will be faithful to you, who will not abuse you physically or emotionally, and who will respect you as the valuable indiviual that you are.

Mushroom Clouds over Zion

2007-07-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've been struggling in my walk. It was not a struggle of faith in God, in the truth of the scriptures, or even in my salvation. Though all three became involved. My real struggle was that of law verses love. It started when I listened to the interview by the Stupid Church People with those God Hates F*#&$ people (I hate that word). I completely disagreed with what those freaks were saying, but they were strangely convicting. It seems true that the world has got everything so mixed up. I wonder often how mixed up the church is as a result.

Now, I do NOT believe that God hates homosexuals. If we were all lost in sin before Jesus came then God would have hated us. And why would God send His only son to die such a horrible death for those He hated so much. But what if we are wrong to even a small degree. What if I can stop sinning, and what if by not succeeding (or perhaps even try) I am condemned. What is MY responsibility in this game of heaven and hell. Either Christ paid it all, or I am lost along this current path.

For as long as I can remember, I have not been able to adequately reconcile God's law with God's love. Maybe I'm not supposed to. I don't know, but it seem s plane that I have to try. Now, I'm not a spiritual virgin here. I've heard all practiced and memorized answers to my query. The problem I have is none of them sound like the God I've met. Maybe He is a delusion or a devil. I don't know, but His love is so self changing that I think perhaps He is neither.

Maybe I'm wrong, or maybe I'm a lunatic. I am a sinner right up there with Paul, but sometimes, in rare moments, I experience an ocean of love rain down on me in spite of--because of my sin. And in that moment, I don't want to sin. In that very moment, sin's luster is tarnished and its fragrance is fouled. Though I am all too soon defeated, for those few seconds I am victorious. If that is a small taste of heaven, of God, nothing this world is of any worth compared to that.

I think the truth of the matter is that love and law were intrinsically reconciled. By the blood stained cross, law is fulfilled and love is expressed. Law that declares the righteousness required, and love that embodies that righteousness. We are forgiven. When we can truly grasp the amplitude of that love and forgiveness, then can we truly defy our sin. It seems that my only responsibility is to be loved and to see where that love takes me.

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Rom. 8:28

"The foremost is, ' Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." Mark 12: 30, 31

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Gal. 5:22

Interogotive

2007-06-25T09:05:00.000-07:00

I've always liked Christian music because I feel it is transcendant. Strangly, I find the same transcendence in secular music like Coldplay and Radiohead. At first, this gave me unsettling pause. If they don't have the answer, how do they know how to be transcendant. I was bothered by this until I realized that it is not just the answer that is transcendant. The question can be enough to transcend. Jesus is the answer simple and certain. It is the question that is many layered and multifaceted. The question is life. It is sometimes most genuinely asked by those who don't yet have the answer, who, in their ignorance, live their lives toward the answer. That alone is transcendant. I pray that they find the answer, but one thing that we too often forget is that finding an answer, finding Christ, does not mean we stop asking the question. That is death.

DTD Form #1: Yin Yang

2007-06-21T19:38:00.001-07:00

Fragment of Heaven

2007-06-19T12:20:00.001-07:00

Have you ever felt the fire in your veins. The presence of the Spirit of God for a momment incarnate in you. All else becomes meaningless in that momment. All concerns become trivial. It is not a pleasure. It is more of an e

EGO EST

2007-06-13T09:20:00.000-07:00

I think that one of the most corrupting events in a Christian's life is when he forgets that God is real. That early fire that hits a new believer when he finally gets it for the first time is a realization that God is real. When this fire dies it is very easy for him to become complacent or worse self righteous. Many profess to know Him and center there lives around Him, but in reality they don't even acknowlege his existance. A Christian is truely empowered when He is reminded that God is actually real. Not empowered to be perfect or to correct the lacking in others, but empowered to know Him.

"I Am," that's was what God told Moses. That's what Jesus told the Pharasees. My challenge to you, believer, is to meditate on the reality of God. Don't just say he is. Know it!

Meow

2007-06-06T11:52:00.001-07:00

wow...

2007-05-27T13:37:00.001-07:00

What Makes Me Manic!

2007-05-24T10:19:00.000-07:00

You may be wondering what a nerd like me would be so facination about the Mandelbrot Set (or maybe not). Its a religious experience to understand what it is. Simply...

This equation:

f(z) = z² + c

creates this:

Color was added (obviously), but nothing more. I'll make it sound way more complicated than it actually is, but I'll try to explain how this works. In math there are two types of numbers. Real numbers are what we use every day (i.e. 2, 4, 3.14159, etc.). Then there are imaginary numbers which are in the form:

bi

Where b is a real number and i is the square root of -1.

Why is it imaginary? Well, think about this. What's the square root of -25?

5² = 25 (not -25)

(-5)² = 25 (again not -25)

The square root of -25 is the imaginary number 5i (that is 5 times the square root of -1). Don't be put off by the name. Imaginary numbers are used heavily in modern mathematics and physics. They do very well to explain real phenomena. So don't get existential on me about how they are "imaginary" and therefore don't matter. That's just a term (as in not real, heh, get it?).

Anyway, by combining a real and imaginary number in an additive relationship you create what's called a complex number.

a + bi

This complex number has two components. The real component (a) and the imaginary component (bi). These two components can be used to represent cartesian coordinates where x is the real and y is the imaginary component.

(a, b)

Therefore, you can orient these numbers onto a cartesian grid. When you do this you create what is called the imaginary plane. The mandelbrot set lies on this plane. For every coordinate (complex number) on this plane the initial function is applied. But not just once It is applied in an infinate series.

f(z) = z² + c

((z² + c)² + c)² + 2

In this function z an complex number coordinate on the plane and c is always the original z value. Everytime the function f(z) is performed the resultant complex number is fed back into the function (f(f(z))). This encompases one iteration.

If at any point the resultant's distance from the origin (known as its modulus) excedes 2, the original value of z is considered not to be part of the set. As long as its modulus remains less than 2, it is deemed to be part of the set. The more iterations that are run for each coordinate the higher the resolution (detail) of the set can be observed. Theoretically, the set itself consists of each coordinate on the imaginary plane that can be iterated through the function infinately without ever exceding a modulus of 2 from the origin.

The way mathematicians create a gradient of color is simple too. Every coordinate that escapes 2 after n iterations through the function gets the same color. Which is why there is a circle around the set; it is the circle formed by the 2 modulus limit.

This shows the circle I'm talking about.

Denominational Reunification

2007-05-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

The Bride is at an all-time maximum diversity. It’s awesome! I keep wondering how we can bring this cornucopia under one roof with one concentrated will. Demons would be dropping all over the planet!

The relativists have this concept of everybody being right. I thought about that, but it’s simply not true. We hold that there is one truth-- the Truth. Then why don't we take the more logically defensible route. We are all wrong.

Don't get me wrong. The canon is solid. We are not. We have all come to interpretations based on the canon. Our interpretations are all partially right. It’s about Christ and His love for us and our attempt to return the favor. We need to be loved by Him, overflow, and love all others.

Let yourself be a little wrong; enough to celebrate with His other children. Keep your doctrines and liturgy. They are at least beautiful and may be right. It is Christ who decides right and wrong. He is a forgiving God. Let him be right and every man a liar. Just read the Bible for your self. Keep doing what you are doing and hope that you are right. God is working on you so you soon will be.

This is my idea to unify the Church. After all it is unified whether we like it or not. All those other churches that got it wrong, they are your family. Love them.

Inpatient Mushroom

2007-04-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

The world is dying, so says the prophet. Internal.
The rush of change flows through the veins of the universe.
Change is, God is, we are, all else is irrelevant.
The hourglass studders as the last grains of sand make up their mind.
Change their mind?
The universe is completely unfolded, manifold consumed by stretched flatness.
Two dimensional; Platonic nothingness.
Rips at its seems, rejects its own rules.
Meaning, exile, receives asylum from the hereafter.
Follow her.

Revolution behind my Eyes

2007-04-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

God is building something in my mind that will change the world. It is like building a ship in a bottle, though because everytime I try to represent it I reinterpret it to death. I am a broken bottle, but the ship is made of adamant. Zero impurities.

There is a poetry within me written by God that no words can tell. I bring to death to it by expressing it. I bring to death myself when I don't express it. Explosion!

Creator's Manifesto

2007-03-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

Matter, energy and time are ripples in the sea of the Universe. The only thing that stands out among the emptiness is consciousness. The shaper and creator of things is will both divine and profane. The divine self, the first cause has spoken all of existence into being. His will alone has brought all things to be. He created us in his image, consciousness, will and creativity, to be co-creators of this universe. We are consciousness separate from the altogether other. We to create and shape the universe. Our creativity is bound only by laws of the divine consciousness both moral (explicit) and universal (inherent). We were created to be creative.

2007-03-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

The conscious self has gained on the once omni present matter. At least it has in the quantum mechanical sense. An experiment was once done to test the behavior of an electron fired at a sheet that had two slits in it. This was called the double slit experiment and is illustrated below:

Salvation

2007-03-12T14:40:00.000-07:00

Me: Who will save me from this body of death?
Jesus: I will. I have.
Me: Well, why am I not saved yet?
Jesus: Because you're still on Earth.
Me: Why can't you save me now?
Jesus: I have. I am.
Me: What does that mean? How can I be both saved and not saved yet?
Jesus: Time is mine and so are you. Rest and know that I will make you whole.

Bit Rate

2007-02-21T09:11:00.000-08:00

We have left the post modernism of the space age and now have entered the existential information age. Everything is imformation or owes its existance to it. We are information now, we are all numbers--1's, 0's, up quarks, down quarks, strange quarks. We are nothing more than binary electronic signatures combined together in a fast fourier transformed, packet switched, mocha half-calf, buisness-2-buisines, peer-to-peer digital aether. All morality itself is relative, and everything can be explained by a statistical graph it. Everything is meaningless. Binary meaninglessness! The Carter Catastrophy hangs over us like a mindless god--the end is near! THE END IS 10111 1100 1001 0101 0010 1010 1011 0101 1011 0101 0010 1010 1010 1010 1101 0100 1010 1001 0101

Nine

2007-02-16T17:30:00.000-08:00

His own beloved hypocrate bride,
For her He suffered, for her He died.

He measured her worth, He knew the cost,
Nothing was wasted, nothing was lost.

It could't be done any other way.
His love nailed Him to the cross that day.

She is the gleam in her savior's eye.
For her He'd suffer, for her He'd die.

For her He'd rise, to her He'd go.
So that one day, His love she'd know.

Comment

2007-02-13T19:39:00.000-08:00

Hey! I just read your comment to my most recent post on my blog. You are right. The Church will most always get a bad wrap. But like you said it's not about the Church. Its about knowing Christ and accepting the gift of salvation He has reserved for us. BUT, I believe there are lots of churches that can help build up that knowing Christ, that relationship that each of us needs. Don't forget that the bible says Christ will come back and take up the church. Well that leaves us wondering what exactly the church is. What were the early churches made up of? They were a gathering of people who came together to worship and celebrate the God of all creation. They weren't the political churches of today. However, the church today is still a powerful tool to facilitate our relationship with the Lord. Yes, our Lord should be number one above the church, above our families, above our stuff, above ourselves... But it is awfully hard to make Him number one when you are trying to be the Lone Ranger, fighting Satan alone. So again I ask, what is the church that Christ is coming back for? Well, I believe it is a gathering of people for one purpose-to praise, worship, ask forgiveness of, learn more about, and make number one the Lord of all the universe.

Lord,
I ask You tonight to lead us to a church that meets us where we are. We need a church that is based on Your word. We need a church that we can grow in. We need a church that is run by people who really want to serve you in the best way they can. We need a church that is contemporary enough to draw us in, yet conservative enough to keep the values we live by. God, we need a church that lifts us up before You that we may be equipped with the love and knowlege and depth of insight to go out and proclaim that You are all we need! You know what we need, God. Meet us where we are tonight and prepare our hearts for where You will lead us. I love you, Lord and pray this in your precious name. Amen.

Allie

See me

2007-02-06T18:56:00.000-08:00

I have this amazing friend name Jordan. He lives in E-ville while I live in Indy. We used to spend almost every evening together while I was still in college. But now that I am teaching in Indy, we don't see each other nearly enough. And especially since the weather has gotten cold and life has gotten busy, we don't even talk as much as we used to. BUT, he is still a great friend. AND, I miss him very much. In fact, we had recently talked about him coming to visit in the near future. Hopefully, he will get a chance to read this blog and see that I still cannot wait for him to come visit again.

Jordan, if you are out there, know that you are missed. Call me sometime soon.

Take care and God Bless!

Love, Allie

PS-Tell Digs hi and pet him for me!

Heaven Seeker

2007-01-30T13:50:00.000-08:00

Its become cliche to say that one seeks meaning. Everybody wants to mean something to their posterity or their lovers. People seek meaning in logic, in faith, in the stars. To the pragmatist, meaning is just the icing on the cake or even utterly worthless. To the idealist, meaning gets in the way. To most, meaning is the means to a greater end.

I have always sought meaning, but not as a poet, a philosopher, or a wishful thinker (though I am all three). I want to embrace it, bathe in it, devour it. Meaning is the meaning of my existence. This is one of the (lesser) reasons I am religious. Not that God provides meaning, but that true, ultimate meaning requires God.

Some may say that I am missing the point; that it is God that I should seek. If God is real, then my aim is accurate, for God is and must remain the center of meaning. It is not that I have missed, but that I have not gone far enough. The center of the Universe is three: Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Causal Mind (part IV)

2007-01-29T09:37:00.000-08:00

thoughts by Jordan Munroe

The Multiple Self Phenomenon

Apart from You

2007-01-15T09:09:00.000-08:00

Apart from You, my heart is hard as rock and cold as snow-- like a lavalamp left unplugged.
Apart from You, I am numb to my pain, but I am also numb to joy.
Apart from You, everything is material, has a price sticker, can be bought, even me.
Apart from You, I don't have to face my anger, my passion, my sin.
Apart from You, there is no meaning. I have no meaning. Oh, how I want meaning.
Apart from You, I don't have to cry. Oh, how I need to cry.
Apart from You, I am nothing.

Be us not apart.

Love

2007-01-06T18:39:00.000-08:00

Love.

You are love.

I need love.

I need You.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1John 4:8